Clutter is a big problem for many people. At a lecture that I gave, I asked for a show of hands regarding how many people had problems with clutter and disorganization. I was surprised to find that at least half the people raised their hands. 

One of my clients told me that she was trying to help her sister get back on her feet after her sister had been laid up with an illness and lost her job. Her sister’s house had always been a mess, and had become so filled with clutter that there was no place to walk or sit. My client, Rebecca, offered to buy her sister a car if she would clean up her house. Rebecca even offered to help her sister clean up the house. Rebecca was shocked when her sister refused the offer, even though she desperately needed the car. He sister was unwilling to get rid of the clutter. 

Why? Why was the “stuff” so important to her? 

Underneath all addictions lies fear – of emptiness, helplessness, loneliness and aloneness. Addictions are a way to feel safe from feeling these difficult and painful feelings, and an addiction to clutter is no exception. It’s all about having a sense of control over feeling safe. Clutter, like all addictions, provides a momentary feeling of comfort. However, as with any addiction, the clutterer needs more and more clutter to maintain the illusion of safety and comfort. 

When my mother died and my son was cleaning out her house, he discovered huge amounts of clutter. While my mother’s house always looked neat and clean, the cupboards and drawers were filled with clutter. My son told me he found 6 broken hair dryers in one cabinet. Why would my mother want to keep six broken hair dryers? 

My mother grew up during the depression and always had a fear of not having enough. No matter how much she accumulated materially, she never felt that she had enough. The six hair dryers made her feel safe from her fear, even if they didn’t work. 

Carrie has trouble throwing things away, especially magazines with “important’ information in them. She subscribes to many magazines but, being the mother of three small children, doesn’t often have the time to read them. So the magazines pile up and pile up. Carrie hopes at some point to have the time to read them, but that time never seems to come. When asked why she won’t throw them out, her answer is, “Because there might be something important in them and I don’t want to miss it.” Carrie fears missing out on some important piece of information – information that may give her the peace she is seeking. It makes her feel safer and in control to have all the magazines around her with their important information, even if she never gets to read them. 

When we don’t feel safe on the inner level, then we try to make ourselves feel safe on the outer level, and clutter is one way of doing that. Whether it’s things, such as hair dryers, or information, such as in magazines and newspapers, clutterers do not trust that they will have what they need. In addition, clutterers may be resistant people who see messiness and clutter as a way of not being controlled by someone who wants them to be neat. 

HEALING THE ADDICTION TO CLUTTER 

Clutter is created and maintained by a wounded, frightened part of oneself, the wounded self – the part that operates from the illusion of having control over people, events, and outcomes. As long as this wounded self is in charge of the decisions, the clutterer will continue to accumulate clutter as a way to provide comfort and the illusion of control over feeling safe, or continue to be messy as a way to resist being controlled. 

Healing occurs when the individual does the inner work necessary to develop a strong, loving adult self. A loving adult is the aspect of us that opens to and connects with a spiritual source of wisdom, strength, and love. A loving adult is capable of taking loving action in our own behalf. The loving adult operates from truth rather than from the false beliefs of the wounded self, and knows that the comfort and safety that clutter seems to provide is an illusion – that no matter how much clutter accumulates, the clutterer still feels afraid. The loving Adult knows that safety and integrity do not lie in resistance. Only a loving adult who is tuned in to the guidance provided by a spiritual source and capable of taking loving action in one’s own behalf can create a sense of inner safety. 

Practicing the six steps of Inner Bonding that we teach develops this powerful loving adult.

Imagine a person in a prison. He/she has been imprisoned for life and will wait till death in the prison.

What can possibly motivate such a person? What do these people look forward to in their lives?

Sometimes, we are also prisoners of our thoughts and our past deeds. We also have nothing else to look forward to. We only have regrets. At least, we can do something about the conditions, but the prisoners can do nothing. Life can be depressing at times. How to inspire ourselves in such conditions?

What is inspiration?

‘Inspiration’ the word as it is commonly understood means to experience a state of mind that propels us to work happily, try to achieve goals, and feel good about ourselves and the world.

How to break open the prison?

When we are not inspired and cannot set goals, we feel that we are so helpless that nothing can be done. The first step would be to try finding stories of people such as Helen Keller who overcame so many difficulties to emerge victorious. That will give us a basic thought that things are not that bad. We will open at least one door of our prison with this thought.

Then go back in your memory. Try and think of instances when you felt good because of some achievements. It could be something very small. Anything. Like coming first in the class in your second year in school, or getting a good remark from a teacher for an essay or for a math answer. That will break open another door.

Now begin counting your blessings. Do you have a functioning kidney? Can you see? Can you hear? Can you smell? Are your hands ok and so on. Will you sell your eyes for any price? No! Who said that you have no money? You are a wealthy person who is unaware of your wealth, your blessings, Isn’t it? This will open one more door.

Break the last door open by thinking of the goals you might want to achieve. Believe that you can do that. Start planning. Think of ways. Talk to people. Be ready for a long struggle but with a firm resolve that you will achieve the goals. This will take you out of the prison of your thinking and make you a new person ready to fight.

Get set to go ahead. You are a winner in making!

It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day’s work. Well, yeah I’m guilty about that one as well, unless I’m caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodka… half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor.

Just don’t ask how it happened, please.

But what’s really interesting is how people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this ‘mind-over-matter’ thing.

Humor is indeed the best medicine there is, whoever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite what’s been happening, and to those who have gone though the ordeal, it’s better to just laugh while facing troubles with a clear mind, than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with the man, and he’s bound to mock the subject and you’ll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.

Woody Allen has this to say:

1. “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn’t have to take an arm and a leg to get it.

2. “I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.” ‘Nuff said.

3. “There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?” This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life’s little problems isn’t all that bad, until ‘he’ shows up.

Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you’re talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.

4. “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.” And if you want more, just keep on asking!

5. “A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.” It sounds, ‘practical’, I think.

And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn’t involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.

6. “Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.” I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.

7. “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” If it rains, it pours.

8. “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” It could get worse when you’re guzzling on beer… or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!

9. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” At least he doesn’t smite us with lightning, and I’m thankful for that.

And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can’t seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we’re religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.

And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.

10. “The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.”

Imagine finally taking off seven coats you’ve been wearing on top of each other for years and years. You’ve forgotten that some people consciously choose to live without seven layers of coats on even though most people are living that way.

You remember the possibilities you imagined your life would be when you were a child. You decide to take off the coats and start running joyfully through the spring fields you forgot about. You move into the light where you finally begin to laugh and live feeling inspired every day instead of simply walking around reacting to life, complaining, counting down the days to the next weekend or vacation until you finally die.

Start taking off the coats that have layered your soul since you started to grow up. Forget about the negativity of the news. Don’t believe negative people telling you that you canít make more money or move to a nicer city or do anything to better your life. Ignore all the forces telling you what you canít do. Close your ears to people who blame their boss, the government, their friends, and their circumstances for what they donít like about their lives.

It’s time to leave ‘em all behind and say ‘See ya!’ It’s time to adopt a new Belief System (yeah, whatever we believe is simply B.S. – just opinions we made up that may or may not actually be true.) It’s time to drop all that limited thinking that keeps you stuck on the birth-school-work(paycheck-to-paycheck)-death merry-go-round.

It’s time to learn the magic of saying YES. Iím going to make YES your new favorite word. Imagine what you want most in life right now. Dream BIG. Think of what your ideal life would look like. See all the tiny details. You have no limitations. You can have exactly what you want.

Money is no object. Your time is your own to spend as you like for as long as you wish. Dream BIGGER now. What fills your soul with more joy than youíve ever felt before? Remember the best experience of your life? Start there and make it as amazing as you can.

How are you spending your days and nights? Who are you with? What are you doing? What emotions are coming up? What smells are in the air? What are your favorite foods that youíre eating and tasting? What cities and countries are you visiting? What are you wearing?

As you reach out to touch your loved ones youíre sharing this life with what sensations run through your hands? -Get as specific as possible. The more specific you are the more youíll get out of doing this. I want you to see, hear, feel, taste and smell every little piece of the life you were born to live.

As you walk into your dream house how big are the doors? How high are the walls? How much of the square footage is covered in windows? How have you furnished it? How many rooms does it have? How many rooms does your guest house have? How many acres of property do you own? What do you see outside of the windows? A meadow? A stream? The ocean? The sunset?

Is this the most fantastic day of your life? YES, it is. Get more in depth. See how your smile looks. Feel the warmth in your heart and the ease and peace in your spirit. Hear the sounds of the surroundings that feed your soul. Feel the excitement in your bones as you realize that you are actually living in your dream come true.

How amazing do you feel right now? You deserve this life donít you? YES, you do.This is no accident. If you are in a human body then you deserve to use it to build the life you truly want to be living. Hundreds of thousands of people are doing it right now. Can’t you do it too? YES, you can. You may need some help, guidance and support, but you can and you will create the life of your dreams. YES, it’s yours for the taking.

YES, you’re ready. YES, you will live it now. How do you feel right now? YES, right now at this moment. Imagine feeling this light and warm every day. You’re smiling aren’t you? If you aren’t then you didn’t do the exercise above slow enough to absorb it and I invite you to do it again.

Feeling is what creates what we have and do. Positive thinking without honest feeling behind it will leave you wondering why nothing’s changed.

When you learn to consciously create with your feelings you’ll start getting better results in your life. Right now you’re probably getting results based on your unconscious feelings. The scary part of this is that most people only feel in reaction to what happens to them. I’m teaching you how to create with your feelings instead.

This feeling, actually a feeling even lighter and clearer, is the place where my clients learn to live from. Please re-read this exercise and get precise about what you want. Simply getting conscious about your desires and feeling as if you’re already living this way will magnetize it to you. You’re creating everyday so you may as well do it consciously to get what you really want. You deserve it, so go for it!

Changing our day-to-day behaviors may be easier than previously imagined. By meditating on and repeating motivational and inspirational quotes, we are better prepared to change our thought patterns, behaviors and in turn, change our lives.

Here’s how it’s done.

If we believe something to be easy, we find little, if any struggle in accomplishing it. However, if we imagine something to be difficult to accomplish, then our struggle becomes more apparent. In fact, if we imagine that it is difficult to change a specific behavior, then we will always find experiences that will justify that belief. 

Take this for example. We wake up one morning and decide that:

“This is the day I start losing weight. When things get difficult, I will not reach for junk food, but instead I will focus on something else to keep my mind occupied. It’ll be tough at first, but I’m going to give it a try.”

If you continue with this thought pattern and belief, don’t be surprised to find yourself struggling more often than not. Why?

If we look at this example closely we find a couple of thought patterns and beliefs already in place. We have determined to do something good for ourselves, but we do ourselves a disservice by choosing certain negative thought patterns, beliefs and words that go along with it.

We have said,

“When things get difficult….”
(This is already assuming that there will be difficult moments! Strike one!)

“It’ll be tough at first…”
(This is already assuming it will be difficult at first! Strike two!)

“…but I’m going to give it a try.”
(Remember the movie “The Karate Kid”…”There is no “try”, there is only “do”. Strike three!)
 
Now there are hundreds of products out there that will assist people in losing weight. Some, if not all of them, may work for various people at various stages of their goal. But for many people who have convinced themselves that losing weight is difficult, some products may fall short when our thought patterns are stronger than our desire to change.

Here is something that I’ve done to change a behavior I no longer desired.

I recently lost 20lbs in about 12 weeks. I didn’t like the way I looked, felt or even thought for that matter. I needed to change and take some action towards it.

First, I realized that I had to change my way of thinking about losing weight. My old thought patterns were no longer working for me. My thoughts were like little tiny pictures that I projected in my mind of how heavy I was. I no longer wanted these pictures or thought patterns a part of my life. I had to choose a thought pattern and belief that would be easier to think about.

I chose this thought,

“Losing weight is easier than I thought.”

Perhaps not the most ideal for everyone but it worked for me.

Secondly, I chose a word I wanted to focus on for that day, week or month to help me in accomplishing my goal (Start with just a day, or just an hour for that matter. Keep it simple.) The word I chose needed to be in relation to the change I want to make. For example, I chose the word “FOCUS”, as I felt that that’s what I needed to think about most of time; focusing more on losing weight than gaining it. Choose any word as long as it relates to your situation. (Attitude, Energy, Action, Believe…)

Following that, I scoured the Internet for motivational and inspirational quotes that resonated within me that related to that specific word I chose. Quotes that I could remember, especially ones that really spoke to what I wanted to accomplish.

But here’s the most important part.

I needed quotes that were powerful enough to change my thought patterns the moment I read them. Quotes that REALLY spoke to me when I my eyes fell upon them. Quotes that forced me to pause and think for a moment. Quotes that had that extra “edge” where my mind said, “Yes. This is one.”

These are all signs of a quote that held power for me. I “focused” in on the following quotes.

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” Buddha

“The only way to discover the limits of the possible, is to go beyond them into them impossible.” Arthur C. Clarke

“It’s not what you achieve in the end that matters, it’s who you become in the process.” Author Unknown

In fact, I found dozens of quotes that I resorted to from time to time, but these three I always came back to. They spoke of who I was, what I wanted to accomplish and who I wanted to become as I worked towards my goal.

I wrote them down. I carried these quotes with me constantly. I read them and meditated on them whenever I had the opportunity to. At work, home or at the gym (yup, I finally got myself to exercise, primarily by focusing on Arthur C. Clarke’s quote!), I focused on these three powerful quotes to help me FOCUS on what I wanted.

Because I changed my thought patterns, over time, I can honestly say I am 20 lbs lighter and a whole lot happier. Yes, I’ll be the first to admit that accomplishing the goal involved more than just thinking but it all began with my thoughts. The thoughts then permeated into my actions. (Now I need to FOCUS on maintaining that weight, so for me a whole new thought pattern begins.)

Here are the three steps again:

1. Decided to change your way of thinking about a behavior, making it easier for you to think about it. Phrase it in a simple way.

2. Choose a word to focus on to change that behavior for a period of time.

3. Find a minimum of three motivational or inspirational quotes related to that specific word that are powerful enough to change your current thought patterns the moment you read them. Meditate on them and repeat them, silently or out loud, every chance you get.

Be patient. Stick with it. Give it some time.

Why do you think companies offer a 30-day money back guarantee? They know that if you do something for 30 days it becomes a habit and you no longer need to return it! (Learned something, huh?) Give it time.

The first step to what you want to accomplish is changing your mind and the thought patterns and beliefs associated with your behavior. Thoughts are the precursor to action, meaning that thoughts occur before any action takes place. That’s what needs to be changed first. Your thoughts.

It worked for me and I hope this inspires and motivates you to achieve your goal.

Think positive.

Life is full of ups and downs and sometimes has a few sideways thrown in too. When things go wrong or don’t go as planned, or when something happens to throw us off balance and doubt ourselves it can be tough to deal with. After all, we all want things to go well and to end up as ‘winners’. But life will always throw challenges at us, and we can’t control everything. Nor should we try. It’s not what happens to you but what you do with what happens to you that makes the difference. Here are three easy ways that you can always come out on top.

1. Focus on Your Strengths

We’re a bunch of contradictions – sorry to break it to you. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad; sometimes hopeful, sometimes pessimistic; sometimes childish and sometimes mature. We also have a whole load of strengths and weaknesses that affect what we do and how we do it, but tend to put more focus on our weaknesses and not our strengths.

A strength is something that you do consistently well or at a near-perfect level of performance – it’s something you’re just able to do, you’re hard-wired to do it well and you get an inherent satisfaction from doing it. It could be tackling and solving complex problems, empathising with people, having a lively imagination or being able to make the perfect omelette.

Focusing on what you do well rather than what you’re not so good at makes all kinds of sense. When you look at what you’re not good at you feel bad about yourself and your ability, but when you focus on and play to your strengths you’re guaranteed to get results, and can even eliminate any negative effect your weaknesses might have.

There was a guy I worked with who hated public speaking and recognised that it was one of his weaknesses. He worked as an advertising executive and as he climbed the ladder he found he had to do more and more presentations – he’d stutter, freeze, forget his point and not perform at his best at all. But when we focused on his strengths we found that he had amazing social skills, an ability to establish great rapport with people in no time at all and had a fantastic sense of humour. Using those strengths he was able to connect easily with each person in his audience, enjoy himself a whole lot more and to deliver presentations that had fun, humour and warmth in them. He used his strengths to overwhelm his weaknesses and went from strength to strength himself.

2. Set Things Up Ahead Of Time

Sure, there will be times when you can just head into something, do brilliantly at it and get the result you were hoping for (normally if you’re playing to your strengths), but other times you might blunder forwards, wing it and not get the result you wanted. Whatever challenges or opportunities you’re facing you’ll stand a much better chance of getting a great result if you set things up to succeed ahead of time.

So what exactly do you want to happen? What solution, outcome or result would be great? Get really clear on the outcome you want from what’s facing you and how it would feel to get the outcome you’re looking for. Then start breaking it down – what can you do to set things up so that your desired outcome happens? What needs to be put in place? What will help to make what you want to happen, happen? And to ensure the best outcome, what are you willing to do?

Whatever faces you, it’s possible to get the result you want by being crystal clear about the kind of result you want and by putting effort into setting things up so that it happens. Look at this way – you’re infinitely more likely to get your most wanted result by putting time or effort into setting things up ahead of time than if you don’t. Your choice.

3. There’s No Such Thing as Losing Anyway

What’s life all about, really? Getting a good job, getting married, feeling valued, having fun? It’s about different things to different people, but to boil it down I think it’s about doing the best we can to have, do and be the best for ourselves and those we care about. Sometimes it’s a struggle and sometimes it’s a joy, but what is constant through it all is our capacity to learn, develop and grow. Humans have an unparalleled ability to learn and adapt, which is exactly why we’re able to do the best we can and find ways to have, do and be more.

That’s why everything you do takes you one step forwards and it’s only by doing one thing, then another and another that the most astounding things in our world came about. As Thomas Edison said while he was on his 207th prototype for the electric light bulb – ‘I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.’ He’s absolutely right – everything you do that doesn’t work out is another tick in another box and another step forwards, because you know one more way not to do something and what not to do next time. You’ll never get to 100% without going from 1% to 99% first.

In all that you do, whether it turns out how you wanted it to or not, there’s the capacity for learning. That means that it’s all part of the process and everything that you do and learn is an important step forwards.

There’s no such thing as losing, only learning and growing. So here’s to your continued success!

We’ve all been in that place. You have a pretty good idea what must be done, but you can’t do it. You know it is the appropriate thing to do, but you just can’t act. You are stuck. You mull the circumstances over and over in your head, but still you don’t really do anything about it. You wait…wait for life to come along and work it out for you. Then you accept the outcome. There are times when this approach might be okay, perhaps even the best choice; but most of the time we just don’t have the courage to make a decision.

That’s what it boils down to, you know…courage. Well, I know that’s the case for me anyway. I have taken to examining myself at such times when I find it difficult to decide what best to do. My discovery is that, even when it is abundantly clear that one action is for the greater good, fear stops me from acting of my own will. I look at the “possible” consequences and I can’t bear to move forward. What about the other action? Well, the fallout of that might also be unbearable, so I don’t take that action either. I can’t stay where I am. I must do one of the other. Repeatedly I return back to the same fork in the road, and I don’t act on either one, hoping that the next time I return there would be more clarity. Sadly, clarity hardly comes. Eventually, when I do act, a lot more damage has been done than was necessary…damage that could have been avoided if I only had the courage to act sooner.

Well, more damage isn’t always done, one could argue. It’s true. Still, at the very least, you take away your control of the situation by becoming a victim. Surely that’s wrong, you say. What if you rush into a decision that you later come to regret? Wouldn’t it be better to consider things fully before you do something stupid? Once again, that’s correct. However, for most people, the consideration goes on for way longer than it should. If there is something else that should happen first, then that’s fine; but this is not the case either, for most people. It’s just that they don’t want to do what is necessary.

Making decisions is a key activity in taking control of your life. It’s a skill in itself. Some people seem to have the ability to do it better than others. For these people, it seems to be an innate ability. For others, well it requires development. You have to practice. You have to flex those “decision-making” muscles. You can’t afford to wait around for things to happen. You have to confront your fear…fear of failure and of missed opportunities.

In order to develop the ability to act when the situation demands it, it’s ironic that the best ally is a more “passive” resource. It’s acceptance. When you can learn to accept life, then you are able to do more without being paralyzed by fear. Think about it. You can’t control everything. This is a fact. You can’t see the future (unless you are psychic or something, in which case skip this); another fact. You will make mistakes in life; but you can recover and move on. Accept all of this and you’re well on your way to being able to make tough decisions.

Acceptance is not so difficult. You do it all the time. Do you drive? Well, if you do, you have to take it for granted that the driver coming from the opposite direction is not a lunatic who is going to run into you. If you’ve ever crossed the street at a Traffic Light, or gotten in a car with someone else driving, then you’re doing a lot of accepting. How do you do it? Well, you don’t have a choice. You have to get to where you’re going. You wouldn’t get there if you refuse to get in a car because you are afraid you might crash. It’s a risk you have to take because you are convinced that it there is almost no choice. Well, how about applying that acceptance to your decision? There are no guarantees in life (generally speaking). You might have made a mistake, but at least you had the courage to choose. And who’s to say you wouldn’t have gotten struck by lightning if you had taken the other path. You just can’t know that it would have been better if you hadn’t acted as you did. Accept this as well. It will give you confidence.  Trust me, with confidence; you are already half-way to your destination.
 
So step up to the plate. Choose. Don’t be a victim of circumstance. You can do so much more knowing that you are responsible for the choices that have delivered you to where you are in life.

Every day of your life you are selling yourself, nothing happens until you’re successful at doing that.

We’re all in the selling business whether we like it or not. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lawyer or an accountant, a manager or a politician, an engineer or a doctor.

We all spend a great deal of our time trying to persuade people to buy our product or service, accept our proposals or merely accept what we say.

Before you get better at persuading or influencing other people – you need to get better at self-motivation and selling yourself.

Here are 10 simple steps to self-motivation:

1 – You must believe in the product

Selling yourself is pretty much like selling anything. Firstly, you need to believe in what you’re selling. That means believing in “you.” It’s about lots of positive self-talk and the right attitude.

The first thing people notice about you is your attitude. If you’re like most people then you’ll suffer from lack of confidence from time to time.

It really all comes down to how you talk to yourself. The majority of people are more likely to talk to themselves negatively than positively – this is what holds them back in life.

It isn’t just about a positive attitude; it’s about the right attitude – the quality of your thinking.

Successful people have a constructive and optimistic way of looking at themselves and their work. They have an attitude of calm, confident, positive self-expectation. They feel good about themselves and believe that everything they do will lead to their inevitable success.

If you’re in a sales job or a business owner or a manager then you need to continually work on your attitude. You need to listen to that little voice inside your head. Is it saying you’re on top, going for it and confident, or is it holding you back.

If you’re hearing – “I can’t do this or that” or “They won’t want to buy at the moment” or “We’re too expensive” then you’d better change your self-talk or change your job.

Start to believe in yourself and don’t let things that are out with your control effect your attitude.

Avoid criticising, condemning and complaining and start spreading a little happiness.

Remember the saying of Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company – “If you believe you can do a thing, or if you believe you can’t, in either case you’re probably right.”

2 – The packaging must grab attention

Like any other product we buy, the way the product is packaged and presented will influence the customer’s decision to buy.

Everything about you needs to look good and you must dress appropriately for the occasion. And don’t think that just because your customer dresses casually, that they expect you to dress the same way.

The style and colour of the clothes you wear, your spectacles, shoes, briefcase, watch, the pen you use, all make a statement about you.

3 – Smile

No need to get carried away, you don’t need a big cheesy grin, just a pleasant open face that doesn’t frighten people away.

4 – Use names

Use the customers name as soon as you can but don’t over do it. Business is less formal nowadays however be careful of using first names initially. Make sure your customer knows yours and remembers it. You can do the old repeat trick -”My name is Bond, James Bond” or “My name is James, James Bond”

5 – Watch the other person

What does their body language tell you? Are they comfortable with you or are they a bit nervous? Are they listening to you or are their eyes darting around the room. If they’re not comfortable and not listening then there’s no point telling them something important about your business.

Far better to make some small talk and more importantly -get then to talk about themselves.

It’s best to go on the assumption that in the first few minutes of meeting someone new, they won’t take in much of what you say. They’re too busy analysing all the visual data they’re taking in.

6 – Listen and look like you’re listening

Many people, particularly men, listen but don’t show that they’re listening. The other person can only go on what they see, not what’s going on inside your head. If they see a blank expression then they’ll assume you’re “out to lunch.”

The trick is to do all the active listening things such as nodding your head, the occasional “UH-HUH” and the occasional question.

7 – Be interested

If you want to be INTERESTING then be INTERESTED. This really is the most important thing you can do to be successful at selling yourself.

The majority of people are very concerned about their self-image. If they sense that you value them, that you feel that they’re important and worth listening to, then you effectively raise their self-image. If you can help people to like themselves then they’ll LOVE you.

Don’t fall into the trap of flattering the other person, because most people will see right through you and they won’t fall for it. Just show some genuine interest in the customer and their business and they’ll be much more receptive to what you say.

8 – Talk positively

Don’t say – “Isn’t it a horrible day” or “Business is pretty tough at present” or any thing else that pulls the conversation down. Say things like (and only the truth) – “I like the design of this office” or “I’ve heard some good reports about your new product.”

9 – Mirror the other person

This doesn’t mean mimicking the other person, it just means you speaking and behaving in a manner that is similar to the customer.

For example, if your customer speaks slowly or quietly, then you speak slowly or quietly. Remember people like people who are like themselves.

10 – Warm and friendly

If you look or sound stressed or aggressive then don’t be surprised if the other person gets defensive and less than willing to co-operate.

If you look and sound warm and friendly, then you’re more likely to get a positive response.

This isn’t about being all nicey-nicey. It’s about a pleasant open face or a warm tone over the telephone.

Before we can get down to the process of selling our product, our service or our ideas then we need to be as sure as we can  be – that the customer has bought us and that we have their full attention.

Positive thinking is a very important element in your life. It helps you create a more productive atmosphere at work, in school or at home; and it helps you develop a better attitude towards life in general.

People who often dwell on negative matters are usually those who wake up each morning feeling as heavy as lead. They see life as an everyday affair of problems; and as a result, they are more stressed than any normal person should be. They have a perpetual frown on their face and have forgotten how to smile properly.

However, even with today’s not-so-perfect world, you can still have a wonderful day – everyday. There are easy ways to encourage positive thinking for almost any situation.

1. Whistle a happy tune.

Whistling a happy tune may have come from a children’s song, but it does its share of work in dispelling negativity away. Let me cite a story to expound on its powerful effect.

Ray was the kind of person who generally did well on reports and presentations. His professors all had a good impression of him. Still, when it came time for the mock defense for his thesis, he was as nervous as a prey cornered by a predator. His stomach was doing cartwheels, and he just couldn’t do enough breathing exercises to calm himself down. Then, he remembered a song he used to sing as a kid…

“Top of the World” by The Carpenters.

Ray started humming the tune softly to himself. In just a few seconds, he felt his nausea dissolve. He found his confidence and resolve returning.

You can do the same thing when you’re sad, angry or anxious. Find a happy tune to hum, and this will quickly reinforce positive emotions and positive thinking.

2. Contribute to charity.

Has a beggar ever approached you for alms? Do you pass by homeless people on your way to work? One of the easiest ways to encourage positive thinking is by helping out those in need. Helping others gives you a nice, warm feeling in your heart that will stay with you for the rest of the day.

I have seen a few people actually buy food and give them to beggars on the street. These beggars must feel a bit of happiness upon receiving the food from strangers. If you look into their eyes, there is gratitude in them. But if you look into the givers’ eyes, there is also something twinkling in there as well; for on that day, they have made a difference in somebody else’s life.

A lot of people feel bad because they see themselves as useless. They don’t think that they can make a difference in their workplace or even at home. Sometimes though, it only takes the right opportunity to open their eyes to what they can do.

Those who have experienced helping others out feel better about themselves, and can thus perform better at work. They develop a more positive outlook about life and about their own capabilities in general. Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it?

You can contribute in your own way, no matter what situation you’re in. Let’s say you’re working in an office. If you’re on your way to make coffee and your co-worker is still neck deep into his work, you can offer to bring them a cup as well. 

3. Put it on paper.

One of the ways to encourage positive thinking is by literally putting the words on paper. You can easily write positive affirmations down on a piece of paper, and then post it somewhere that can be easily seen everyday. These affirmations usually begin with “I HAVE” or “I AM.” Use the present tense to make the affirmation more real.

An example of a positive written message goes like this: “I am a healthy and happy person.” For starters, you can create one that says: “Today is a wonderful day.”

 A lot of people respond really well to visual messages. To see is to believe, remember? By seeing “Today is a wonderful day” on your bedroom wall, you are almost programming yourself to have a pleasant day.

It’s the complete opposite of those who wake up each day feeling as heavy as lead. By staying with a negative thought from bed to breakfast, they’re actually setting themselves up for a lousy day at work.

Now that you know what staying grumpy can do to you, it’s time to take charge and reverse your situation. Positive thinking is not rocket science. You can be a teenager or a senior citizen and still apply positive thinking in your life. Keep in mind that the simplest actions can uplift your mood. Once you’re used to being a positive thinker, everything else will become a breeze.

Your attitude about life is one of the most important factors for success. A bad attitude gets you nowhere, while a good one can provide you with enough motivation to succeed beyond your dreams.

You may think that you already have a success-mindset, and perhaps you do. However, you can always benefit from strengthening that attitude and therefore increasing your chances for the success you deserve.

Follow these strategies for improving your attitude for success:

1. Find your inspiration. Discover what inspires you the most and use it to jumpstart your motivation whenever you go. Feeling inspired enables you to maintain the drive necessary to find success. Do anything you can within your power to find inspiration.

* Make a list of your ultimate dreams, and then ask yourself if you’re on the right path. If you are, you’ll know that everything you’re doing will be rewarded.


* If you don’t feel like you’re on the right path, perhaps it’s time for a change. Maybe there’s a deeper reason why you’ve felt a lack of motivation. Reflect on what this reason might be, and then decide on how you can renew your drive. When you’re on the right journey, you’ll feel inspired!

2. Surround yourself with positive people. When you’re around positive and inspiring people, you’re more likely to adopt those traits into your own personality and go for your goals with enthusiasm. Negative people, on the other hand, tend to make you negative also.

* If you must be around people that continually bring you down, do your best to avoid taking what they say to heart. You know that they don’t speak the truth. Keep the peace as best as you can to get through these situations and then move on.

3. Take a leap. The best way to improve your attitude might be to just jump right into life. Don’t be afraid to take initiative and plunge forward towards your goals. People who take action find success. If you take action and start to see the results of your efforts, your attitude will only improve.


* The increased drive and motivation you get from your actions can be the difference between success and failure.

4. Strengthen your focus. Your focus can also play a role in your attitude. When you maintain driven toward success, it’s easier to have an optimistic attitude. If you have a lack of focus and don’t know where you’re going, it leads to being unmotivated and uncaring.

5. Allow for mistakes. You’re only human and you will make mistakes from time to time. Be careful to avoid judging yourself harshly when this happens, as it negatively affects your self-confidence. If you work on more of a “go with the flow” attitude, you’ll find that you’re able to pick yourself back up and continue moving forward when you do make a mistake.

The main things to keep in mind are that the combo of inspiration, positive thoughts, and proper motivation can lead you to a healthy and positive attitude. Follow these strategies daily and you’ll notice a boost in your spirits!